50 Ways to Tell You Are a Bit Obsessed
by Tearjerker22
Summary: ...With The Chronicles of Narnia! Exactly what it sounds like. After all, the first step in finding a cure is admitting you have a problem.


Disclaimer: We definitely do not own The Chronicles of Narnia; that belongs to C.S. Lewis and Walden Media. However, we do own some of these ideas, and have done them in public.

Key for book abbreviations: MN: Magician's Nephew, LWW: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, HB: The Horse and His Boy, PC: Prince Caspian, VDT: The Voyage of the Dawn Treador, SC: The Silver Chair, LB: The Last Battle, LWWm: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe movie (Walden Media)

**50 Ways to Tell You Are a _Bit_ Obsessed With _The Chronicles of Narnia_**

50. Every accomplishment in your life is dedicated: "For Narnia! And for Aslan!" (LWWm)

49. When you don't know a horse's name, you call it Phillip (LWWm).

48. If anyone tells you to hurry up, you threaten to turn him into a big, fluffy hat (LWWm).

47. You are convinced that the birds are "psst-ing" you (LWWm).

46. You are particularly suspicious of anyone wearing green or white (LWW/SC).

45. You not only _believe_ in Father Christmas, you _know_ he exists (LWW).

44. Winter is your least favorite season, but you breathe a sigh of relief when Christmas arrives on time (LWW).

43. Foxes are among your favorite animals; they really know how to give the Witch what-for (LWWm).

42. You refuse to hold your hand out for an animal to smell; it is beneath their dignity (LWWm).

41. You find yourself climbing into random closets in the hopes that one of them will lead you to the lamppost (LWW).

40. Whenever you slip a ring on your finger, you jump in the nearest puddle to see if you end up in the Wood between the Worlds. If it hasn't rained in a while, a bathtub will work just as well (MN).

39. When the ringed puddle-jumping doesn't work, you try asking a guinea pig how _he_ got to the Wood between the Worlds…and how he got back (MN).

38. As you couldn't get into Narnia by either the rings or the wardrobe, you figure jumping into a painting might work (VDT).

37. Someone always needs a handkerchief more than you do (LWWm).

36. You have sardines by the bucketload in case someone stops by for tea (LWWm).

35. "What _are_ they teaching in schools these days?" (LWW).

34. You are proud that you don't know when to stop pretending (LWWm).

33. You know you are a hero, and not just because you have a sword (LWWm).

32. You'll tell anyone that you believe in a free Narnia (LWWm).

31. You think that the perfect method for getting rid of school bullies is a lion, a sword, and a couple of warriors (SC).

30. You try whispering messages to trees in hopes that they will deliver them through the wind (LWWm).

29. When you get down to the last cookie, you plant it instead of eating it in the hopes that a cookie tree will grow (MN).

28. You cry whenever you hear "Three Blind Mice" because you are sure they were cousins of Reepicheep (PC).

27. Your friends are not boys and girls; they are "Sons of Adam" and "Daughters of Eve" (LWW).

26. You always look before you leap…especially when jumping into an unidentified pool of water (VDT).

25. You believe that deforestation is nothing less than tree murder (LB).

24. You are convinced that even if you were to fall off a cliff, a simple breath will blow you to safety (SC).

23. In your heart, you are never too old to visit Narnia (PC).

22. You do _not_ want your dreams to come true (VDT).

21. You refuse to eat Turkish Delight (LWW).

20. You start studying archery and swordsmanship in case you are someday challenged by a dwarf (PC).

19. You try giving your pet mouse a foil and a plumed hat (PC).

18. You weep over the poor statues in the museums who haven't been rescued yet (LWW).

17. Golden statues are more unfortunate victims (VDT).

16. Anyone who calls on Aslan's name _must_ be a prince (SC).

15. You distrust silver furniture (SC).

14. You add sugar to your water and claim that you've been to Aslan's country (VDT).

13. You ask your geography teacher why "Spare Oom"—and for that matter, Narnia—are not on the map (LWW).

12. It becomes your lifelong dream to have an out-of-body experience, especially if it happens in a railway station (PC).

11. You know that it really is a very foolish thing to shut oneself into a wardrobe (LWW).

10. You are, and always will be, a friend of Narnia (LB).

9. The sound of a bell ringing makes you flinch…especially if it goes on for a _little_ too long (MN).

8. You don't care what evolutionists say; you are not in _any way_ related to the ape (LB).

7. In our world, you know Aslan by his other name (VDT).

6. You _really_ don't trust your uncles (MN/PC).

5. You laugh hysterically whenever someone refers to a jackdaw; after all, it _was_ the first joke (MN).

4. Your response to anything the least bit insulting is, "I object to that remark very strongly" (MN).

3. You argue that the first winged horse was _not_ Pegasus. It was _Fledge_ (MN).

2. You try to climb into the lions' cage at the zoo. When you're caught, you assure the attendant: "He may not be safe, but he's _good_" (LWW).

And, the number one way to tell that you are a _bit_ obsessed with _The_ _Chronicles of Narnia_:

1. You recognized every single reference mentioned on this list.

(A/N) We love reviews, yes we do, we love reviews, how 'bout you? Okay, lame, but please review anyway! Also, we do not recommend trying to do #2 just to prove that you're obsessed with Narnia. It doesn't really work all that well; you'll just get arrested or mauled. If you have any questions about the origin of the references, check the listed book or ask us in a review. Hope you enjoyed it!


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